Why You Should Make a Valuable Resolution

It doesn’t matter who you were. What matters from here on is who you’re becoming. – Click to tweet.

Who we were, or what we have done, and how the past year has turned out are no longer relevant unless ALL OF THESE THINGS are going to make you better. If none of the above are helping at all, then it is time to let go and move on. At the end of the day, it is about our progression.

Our progress should be a meaningful, healing and fulfilling journey. It should lead us closer to our dreams or goals. It should fulfil our highest aspirations, and help us arrive at our own greatness. Every decision or step we make should take us forward, not backward.

To be honest, I was never one to make resolutions. I was too lazy and undisciplined. Naturally, nothing ended well with that sort of attitude. It did not allow me to enjoy any good results. Things only started to change when I became resolute and committed. There is simply no substitute for real effort, persistence and conviction. Hence, I turned my resolutions into achievable plans and aligned them with the person I aspire to be. In this way, I live and breathe my resolutions from year to year.

If we truly wanted something, we would put in the time and effort to work for it. If we could give it up easily or lose interest when the going gets tough, then it is quite clear that we didn’t want it bad enough. If it is really important to us, we would never let it slip away. If you have read my previous post, Getting Shit Done, you’d know what I mean.

As mentioned above, our evolution should be meaningful, healing and fulfilling. More importantly, it has to be sustainable. Only then our whole journey forward becomes worthwhile.


1) Discover what’s of real value to you, and never again be seduced or fooled by what only appears to be of value. Don’t be distracted by shiny beautiful things or people. Don’t give into transient pleasures when what you truly seek is sustainable lasting happiness. Always find the true value of a person or a job, or even a thing. Do any of these fulfil or complete you? Do they take you closer to your dreams or help you become better in any way?

As Robin Sharma said, “Don’t set Ego-Goals but Mastery Goals.” Ego-Goals feed pride. This is why it is shallow and short-term with plenty of downsides. Mastery Goals feed your soul and groom you to become the best you can be. For example, instead of becoming “employee of the year”, you evolve and become a better man or woman for life. See the difference? 🙂

Once you’ve understood the real values in life, love and work; you’ll never trade your worth or dreams for shallow thrills or temporary solutions. Remember, we can always adopt better or higher values as we go along. We should always strive for continuous improvement. Because it helps us WIN for the long haul. So, don’t hesitate to let go of the toxic habits, people and things which do you more harm than good. As long as we keep investing in ourselves, our lives will be constantly enriched. As a result, we become people of great value. We may even inspire those around us as well. That’s the real wealth of value – when our aspirations become the source of inspiration for others. 


2) Define your own unique brand of beauty and embrace it with your heart. Stop looking at the mirror and see only flaws, faults and mistakes. If you wish to be so meticulous about seeking out only the negative in yourself, then that is all you will see. In fact, you will view others in the same manner too. Only their “bad sides” will stick out, and be documented. You may even grade each person’s “bad points” in your mental score card and disparage them further. Sadly, their “good sides” will be casually foreshadowed. Because this is no different to what you do to yourself all the time – only remembering the bad, but forgetting the good.

In each of us, we carry both good and bad. None of us is perfect. However, even in our imperfections, we can still be awesome. We can still make someone smile, or help the less fortunate, or make a world of difference and etc. Hence, start seeing the good in you when you look at the mirror. Make peace with the flaws, wrinkles and curves. Take off the mask, and show your true face with pride. As we learn to appreciate the good in ourselves, we will also start valuing the good in others. As we embrace our own brand of beautiful with grace, we will recognise the beauty of others with kindness. We may even enhance each other’s beauty as we go along. Here, beauty includes both inner and outer. This is the true beauty of life – when our beauty echoes the beauty of others, and vice versa. 


3) Derive from higher wisdom and deeper compassion. Don’t be distracted or confused by superficial narratives. Always dig deeper, do your own research and find out more. So much have been said, reported, twisted, bent and broken. What good has any of it done for you or me, and the world around us? At this day and age, when technology enables us to reach out to anyone anywhere; we should be a lot more harmonious. We should have a deeper understanding of one another, and be more respectful. Unfortunately, we’ve become fearful, distrustful, misguided or misinformed, and even gravely divided. The transformations we ask of others is the same transformation we need to do for ourselves. Therefore, we all need to grow and evolve in a way which benefits the greater whole.

We need to become wiser, and not just smarter.
We need to teach as well as remain teachable ourselves.
We need to share as much as embrace.

We need to care for our outer world in the same degree which we care about our inner world. Because we can’t hope to achieve the peace within when we continually disregard outer peace, or the peace of others. We can’t procure security, success and wealth when we deny others of the same opportunities. What we detest will encroach into our private spaces, because we have fed that same hatred laced with violence to the disenfranchised. We can no longer escape the consequences of our actions, or inaction. Because our personal actions, words and thoughts can affect many, just as theirs have an impact on us. The peace within and without are one and the same.

It is never about gender, age or race. It is about abiding by human decency that is universal, regardless of creed.  It is about humans defining humanity by becoming better beings. Only then will our world become a much richer, safer and better place for all.

Our collective progression is dependent on our individual progression. – Click to tweet. 

If the past year taught us anything at all, it is that we need to “evolve positively” if we are to live meaningfully, respectfully and harmoniously with ourselves, as much as, with each other. Religion should no longer become an excuse to start (or continue) senseless killings. Religion should inspire us to be greater than who we were. Peace should not be defined by bloodshed and annihilation. Peace should be celebrated with joy and in unison. Justice should not protect the chosen few, but remain impartial and be dictated by the beacon of truth.

If the past weeks have shown us anything at all, it is that we can all do better and we should. The power of one is just as influential as the concerted effort of many. Even the pen can become a mighty weapon. It is important to understand that when the pen is used for negativity, sarcasm and ridicule; then the results would be disastrous. BUT when the pen becomes a source of inspiration, clarification and enlightenment; then the result it brings will be immensely beneficial to all. Then the pen is at its most powerful.

Here, the pen is a metaphor for many things – stationery, freedom of speech, our individual talents, work or art. 

We each have greatness in us. We each possess unique talents, and are capable of amazing feats. Spider-Man‘s Uncle Ben said it best, “With great power comes great responsibility”. When we truly understand this statement, we would know how to harness that resolute fearless spirit in ourselves, and instil it into every aspect of our lives for greater good.

When our lives are in sync with our values, beauty, talent, wisdom and greater purposewe are at our most powerful. – Click to tweet.

This 2015, we get to start over and do way better. We get to make better choices for ourselves. We get to rectify the past mistakes, heal from the misconstrued or outdated ideologies which no longer serve any purpose, and revise those which are still relevant to us. In the process, we may even surprise ourselves and make an inspirational difference.

Be fearless – show up in everything that matters to you, and own up to what needs to be addressed, reformed, or resolved.

Start laying the ground works of your goals and dreams. The foundation has to be built now. The foundation needs to be strong and sustainable in order to last. It is the foundation of who you aspire to be, the foundation of your lifelong dreams or goals. Above all, the foundation of your legacy.

So, always invest in your well-being and talents. Use them well and responsibly.

Realise your own greatness so that you become the person you are destined to be.

Then become the change you wish to see in the world.

May this year be your year of triumph.

May 2015 be the year humanity, love and peace triumph. 

For you… for me…FOR ALL OF US.  


Being Afraid Is Human, But Staying Afraid Is A Choice.

  • Vincent Chan
    January 19, 2015

    A beautiful new perspective on how to create resolutions that really make a difference, both for oneself and the world around us. Just out of curiosity; based on this enlightened guideline to crafting goals for the next 12 months, what are YOUR resolutions, specifically?

    • shirleymaya
      January 21, 2015

      Hi Vincent, thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I would not call this an enlightened guideline, but just using the platform of Resolutions to craft something more sustainable, meaningful and fulfilling for ourselves in the long run. It is something I have found to have made a big difference in my life when I moved from making EGO-fuelled goals or Self-Serving agendas, to Mastery Goals and mandates that serve a greater purpose.
      These days, I no longer make resolutions per say. Instead, I am working on on myself continuously over time – carrying forward things I have yet to get a better grip on to the present. I am improving on the things which I’ve identified a while back and refining them further or deeper. An example of that is my impatience. I have a HUGE problem with impatience. It is one of the toughest things to tackle. for me personally that is. So, I document my degree of impatience over time and see how it has declined through the years. Then, I take note of the occasions when I have totally lost it and see why, how and what. This helps me to keep track of my own emotions and monitor how I react to the different circumstances around me, especially which of them trigger or provoke my impatience. Hence, I am able to identify and deal with it early on. With time, practice and being more mindful – I do get better. Now, I don’t blow up in zero to 45 seconds. It takes much much longer. Hopefully, in the near future, it will become a non-issue. Haha
      Hope this answers your question. Seems that I wrote a mini blog post in my answer. 🙂

  • Cheryl-Lynn
    January 19, 2015

    What a great post, Shirley!! I like the Ego versus Mastery goals…yes indeed. My past does not define me but has shaped me into a stronger person. Best wishes for 2015, ((((hugs)))) best wishes to you and your family.

    • shirleymaya
      January 21, 2015

      Thank you for stopping by, Cheryl-Lynn. Hope the year has started off promisingly. May 2015 bring you love, peace, happiness and all things nice! Our past does not define us, indeed! Big hugs and love x

      • Cheryl-Lynn
        January 22, 2015

        Thank you, Shirley! It started a bit rocky but that means all the hsit will be over soon and then I can breathe:)

  • ramblingsfromamum
    January 19, 2015

    Great post Shirley. Yes we all have our flaws, we are but human. Rising above our self defeatist attitudes and striving to be the best we can be is paramount. x

    • shirleymaya
      January 21, 2015

      Thank you, Jen. Hope all is well with you. Yes, we are crowns of imperfections but incredibly amazing at striving to be the best that we can be. That’s the amazing thing about the human spirit. It is unstoppable, beautiful, and most inspiring! Hugs and love x

  • Carol Balawyder
    January 26, 2015

    Great inspiring post, Shirley.