My Fearless Valentine Wish

I remember when I was much younger (let’s not make me count backwards here), Valentine’s Day was like a HUGE deal for me.

It was my absolute favourite day after Chinese New Year and Christmas. Yes, we Asians value Chinese New Year (CNY) more than Christmas. Because during CNY, we get $$$ that comes in red packets. In Christmas, we only get pretty fairy lights. And presents, of course. But you couldn’t compare presents with money. As a kid, it was much harder to get my bank balance to increase faster than the fats that were gathering upon my thighs. Not to mention, on all my other body parts too! All I got was my school allowance, and that was not much. If only money would multiply as fast as the fats in our bodies. *sigh*

Anyways, I digress.

So, Valentine’s Day was just soooo important because we as girls would get cards, love notes, flowers, chocolates and etc. Now, you see why CNY and red packets of money come in handy – especially for the boys. So, back to my point. 

When I was much younger, I used to measure my self-worth as a girl through the number of cards, gifts and flowers I would receive on Valentine’s Day. Never mind about the rest of the calendar year. It’s bloody fucking Valentine’s Day that mattered, because it was THE day of Love. And if it did not happen on Valentine’s Day, then the whole year would suck big time. Yes. Those were my sentiments, oddly enough. *shakes head*

As you can imagine – If I got nothing on bloody fucking Valentine’s Day, it meant that I was worth, well, worse than nothing. I would feel like I was the scum of the earth. And I’d lock myself in my room – sobbing, sulking and whining about why no one liked me. I would even ask my reflection in the mirror why no one wanted me. Needless to say, the day after Valentine’s Day was never pretty. Well, pretty ugly, if you care to put it that way. Especially if the next day was a school day, then it would become the worst day of my life. Because all the other girls would bring their Valentine gifts to school to show everyone else what they got, and who they got it from. Those cows. They just had to rub it in my face.  

BUT if I got something, it meant that I was adored. That someone liked me, like really, really liked me! Then little hearts would fly above my head. I would even hear little birdies singing in the background. 

AND IF I received a lot of stuff on Valentine’s Day – it meant, I was the coolest and hottest babe on earth. This was when I would imagine wind blowing through my hair in slow-motion, and I’d be sashaying wherever I went. Even if it was just from my bedroom to the kitchen. Yes, my parents and sisters would just roll their eyes whenever they saw me do this with a portable fan, I might add. 

Suffice to say, I would let everyone in school KNOW how many gifts I got when I went back to school after Valentine’s Day. It didn’t matter if I had to wait the whole weekend. It was my turn to shine and I’ll be damned if no one knew how much I was adored. 

PLEASE bear in mind these were all the delusions of an idiotic 14-year-old girl back in 1983. Oh Crap! Now, you all know how old I really am.

Moving swiftly along …

Looking back now, I was really a dumb kid. I had placed so much importance on the really un-important stuff.

Of course, I am a little wiser now. Yes, emphasis is on a little

I do not buy into all that commercialised BS of Valentine’s Day.

If there are people who want to express their love on that one day out of an entire year, that’s their choice.

If there are couples who would only shower each other with affection on every February 14th, and ONLY on every February 14th, that’s also their call to make. Who am I to judge? I was a crazy 14-year-old kid who thought Valentine’s Day was the best thing since individually packed mini butter. Yes, I love butter more than bread. So, sue me!

THE TRUTH IS, all of us have held our own silly or even ridiculous ideals until we’ve learnt the lessons, and know better. We’ve been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, and probably burnt it in the end. We all grow up eventually. Well, most of us anyways. *MEOW*

While I no longer celebrate Valentine’s Day in that traditional sense, I do find other ways to express my love and gratitude towards the people around me on that very day. If I were gung-ho, I could very well make every day a day of love and to love. Key operative word here: IF.


In any case, if people can really be motivated or taught to love by dedicating a day to love – more power to that!

At this day and age, when so much is communicated online and so little is left of the personal human touch, we could really use more love and less apathy.

As long as we are reminded to love, and consciously embrace love, may be – just may be – Valentine’s Day could become much more than lovers giving gifts or flowers to one another.

Perhaps, it could also be strangers wishing each other well, and greeting everyone with blessings instead of hate or racism.

It could even be a day to jump-start all other days in prompting us to treat one another with courtesy and mutual respect.

May be, and just may be we could widen the meaning and depth of Valentine’s Day to be all-inclusive. No discrimination of any kind towards anyone – regardless of their race, age, creed, gender or shape and size.

Then may be we could all be a little nicer, kinder and gracious from that one day of love and learn to be more forgiving.

Now, would that be a great Valentine’s Day for all?

You tell me.  


All My Love,



Being Afraid Is Human, But Staying Afraid Is A Choice.

  • mihrank
    February 13, 2014

    wow… I congratulate you for such appreciative article, I enjoyed reading it. Bravo!

  • Jacob Mathews
    February 13, 2014

    The true feelings expressed, thank you honey for sharing what inspired you at that cute age. Lots of love and hugs

    • shirleymaya
      February 13, 2014

      HONEY??? Are we so familiar with each other now, Jacob Matthews? I hardly know you. Thanks for your comments though haha

      • Lobsang Dorjee
        February 13, 2014

        I really enjoyed reading your post about Valentine’s day. You are so gracious and competent woman. Lots of love and hugs.. Lobsang from India…

        • shirleymaya
          February 13, 2014

          Thank you but I would never say that I am gracious and competent 🙂

  • Paul
    February 13, 2014

    Neat post, Shirley. I didn’t realize that Valentines Day was so big for teens in China/Malasia. Very humourous presentation.

    • shirleymaya
      February 13, 2014

      It is a HUGE deal for teens everywhere. Well, to be fair, we had very little excitement those days. No internet, no cool apps, games, iphones and etc. So, Valentine’s Day was our most coveted day of fun. LOL

  • Desiree G
    February 13, 2014

    I have grown up but not necessarily matured as Valentine’s Day is still my favorite day of the year (alongside my birthday). To me it is not about what I get, how much I get or who I get it from (because I don’t get anything at all from anyone on this day), but it is about teaching my children to find joy in “spreading love” …. no, it shouldn’t be only one day a year, but a seed must planted somewhere. And for young boys, it is easier for them to spread it on a day that is dedicated to that very purpose. My oldest is 12 and he still does not believe in girlfriends (thank Heavens for small favors) because he believes many friendships are more important than a single relationship that confines your heart, your giving, your conversations. This year, his class decided to do “secret Valentines” and draw names to exchange small tokens throughout the week. I thought surely my son would balk at such a notion when he drew the name of a girl. He has shocked me. While he has no romantic interest in this girl, he values her as a person and has truly given thought into what small gifts would please her and make her happy this week. There has been no shame, no embarrassment, no consideration of self in this endeavor. He even went over the spending limit (slightly) and used his own money to compensate, just to make sure he could give someone else joy. Next year, at 13, this may be entirely different. But in this moment, nothing has made me prouder than my son learning that there are many ways to express love …. and love need not be romantic or intimate to be given freely to another human being. And this is why Valentine’s Day is STILL my favorite day of the year. Much love to you, Shirley!!!! (sorry for the essay)

    • shirleymaya
      February 13, 2014

      Hi Sweet D, it’s always a pleasure to hear from you and you know that I mean it *Big Grin*
      As long as it spreads more love and makes people happier people, I am all for it.
      Because happier people tend to be much nicer people too 😉
      Much love, blessings and joy to you too. Hugs x

  • Ranting Crow
    February 13, 2014

    Shit i would have not given you older then me. or t least much 😀 hehe looking good. corsets… dang back to reality…. to perverted LOL

    Okay Valentine’s day. uhmm I think you was lucky. imagine getting a card from a parent. and see friends at school. UHuh. nuff said LOL
    O a very young age (12) i started disliking Valentine’s day for being so commercialized.
    i rather start a booth for free hugs and smiles. just because it would be awesome to share love. ANd who ever wants to join in.can.

    Your view of Valentine’s day is beauty. I share that thought very much.

    • shirleymaya
      February 14, 2014

      I don’t care much about age. I am always happy to share how OLD I really am haha
      I am all for more LOVE, less hate and PEACE for ALL 😉

      • Ranting Crow
        February 14, 2014

        I dig that. and old are the Rockies we are at our prime 😀
        And still you look good 😛

        • shirleymaya
          February 14, 2014

          My dear RC, thank you.
          To be honest, I feel so much better in my 40’s than I ever did. So, I am loving it 🙂

  • Alex
    February 14, 2014

    Time is an illusion,
    Love scares most people,
    Even the most gentle and loving behavior can only keep a relationship healthy with someone who is willing to remain honorable, vulnerable, honest, and communicative through hard times as well as easy ones.

    Since all of us are, by definition, self-centered, perhaps the most romantic words I’ve ever heard are “I love who I become when I am with you”.
    Just a thought

    • shirleymaya
      February 14, 2014

      Beautiful thought, Alex. Thanks for sharing. As long as people become better people when they are with someone, or are in love, IT IS ALL GOOD. More power to that 🙂

  • caroline hills
    February 14, 2014

    I loved reading this. I know exactly what you mean about being a teenager … only i never bloody got anything on valentines days! 🙁 great post. X

    • shirleymaya
      February 14, 2014

      Thank you so much for your kind comments, Caroline! I really appreciate it. I am sorry you did not get anything when you were a teenager. Hope this Valentine’s is way better. Much love and hugs to you 🙂

  • LAMarcom
    February 14, 2014

    I always send flowers to my girlfriend-of-the-current on Texas Independence Day (March 2nd). Because… that is just how I roll.

    Although last year I did a curs’d thing: I fell for the Vermont Teddy Bear bullshit (The chicks in the commercial looked so..,..warm).

    Year before that, I fell for the Pajama Gram crap (The chicks in the commercial looked so…warm)

    Year before that, I fell for….Aw shit! I fear I have said too much, revealing I am an easy mark for chicks who look so warm….please don’t tell anyone. I have enuff telemarketers already. And I don’t even have a telephone.

    Great Post
    Happy Valentine’s Day.

    • shirleymaya
      February 14, 2014

      LOL you are just a crazy Texan cowboy, aren’t you? 😉

  • whocouldknowthen
    February 14, 2014

    hi Shirley, i agree with so much of what you’ve written here. but as all the other holidays have become less important to me over the years, this one remains a favorite. i’m not one to follow convention, and we don;t do anything special in public it’s just another excuse to celebrate being loved. it came late in life for us both, it’s another good excuse to bring home flowers or write a poem.

    • shirleymaya
      February 14, 2014

      I couldn’t agree with you more! It is a great excuse to bring home affection in any form or kind, and celebrate love. Loved your Valentine poem and sketch for your better half. Sometimes, there is merit in having love later in life. We may learn to appreciate one another even more. Wishing you and yours a magical Valentine’s. Thank you so much for coming over. Truly honoured 🙂

      • whocouldknowthen
        February 15, 2014

        ty Shirley and you are most welcome. i enjoyed the honesty in your writing, i’ll have to rummage around and see what i’ve been missing.

        • shirleymaya
          February 16, 2014

          Thank you so much. Deeply appreciated. I am enjoying your poetic verses immensely. So glad to have you back 🙂

  • scottishmomus
    February 15, 2014

    Great post, Shirley. And Desiree’s response about her son showing such consideration is a mark of love that is so mature beyond his years.
    However we show it we need to show it. Peace and love, SS. And love.x

  • Madagascar
    February 20, 2014

    We all went through this step. I mean, placing so much importance on the really unimportant stuff. I love your writing! Congratulations!

  • Laxman Prajapati
    February 21, 2014

    Your blog is so nice…
    Really i enjoy your blog…. 🙂