To The Beautiful YOU


So, this week we saw how a woman caused a ‘stir’ by posting a picture of herself after 4 days of her child’s birth. The woman is none other than Carolin Berg Eriksen, wife of Norwegian Premier League player, Lars-Kristian Eriksen.

Those who criticised her are ‘assumed’ to be jealous of her ‘hot’ body. Then there are those who are just not bothered by Carolin’s actions. It is her body, after all. You can read more about her story here

It never ceases to amaze me how women still get very worked up about body images – especially with regards to other women’s bodies. Remember that pretty Asian mother of three who got slammed because she posted her pic of herself with the caption, “What’s Your Excuse?” 

Allow me jog your memory by re-posting her pic below.

Maria Kang 

Also, need I bring up the ‘discontent’ that erupted with the recent crowning of Miss USA, because she was of Indian descent?

Would it surprise anyone that most of the ‘haters’ and criticism came from the women?

Now, what does this all say about the feminine community as a whole?

Why do we care about what other women do with their bodies, and why must we feel compelled to attack in all our comments? 

It is not even about giving constructive criticism anymore. We seem only interested in unleashing all hell in verbal form to the woman in question.

Personally, I think that Maria Kang (the pretty mother of three in the pic above) was just trying to inspire other mothers and women who have given up on investing in their health and bodies. She did it in her own style. I do not feel that Maria Kang was trying to taunt or show off, let alone shame the women who do not have bodies like hers.

It is very unfortunate that her message was misinterpreted by a lot of women. 

The question we should really ask ourselves is, what is our real source of anger, hatred and bitterness?

If a picture can trigger such an emotional eruption in us, then it might be an issue that we should address honestly with ourselves.

What we hurl at others reflects what’s hurting us within. 

Frankly, I will never have the body of Maria Kang because I will never give that much time and commitment to working out. I hate working out. Let me rephrase that – I DESPISE working out. There, I said it! Perhaps my priorities are different from hers. However, I do not feel any hostility towards her and her message. I know what I am NOT willing to do, and hence, they are my ‘excuses’  or my ‘justified reasons’. Whatever it is, they are mine and I have made my own choices. So, I live with them. 

In return, I rejoice for people like Maria Kang who makes an effort to carve out time for her health. The results are visibly clear on her physique. I can honestly say that I will always be too lazy to get that kind of healthy. However, that may change one day if I become suddenly inspired. And it won’t be such a bad thing if or when it does happen. Then I’ll have to thank all these amazing women who work consistently to better themselves for inspiring me. 

So, here is me facing my own truth.

What’s your truth when you see a pic of a sexy or confident woman?

What emotions or thoughts does the picture elicit in you? 

I would encourage every woman to dig deep and ask themselves before they launch into a full-on assault onto another woman, let alone spew poisonous nouns at her. 

Perhaps when we change the vocabulary in our daily dialogue about our fellow sisters, we may also change the language used in our inner dialogue with ourselves.

Beauty does come in all shapes, races and sizes. Imperfection itself is also beautiful because everyone is perfectly flawed in one way or another. 

No one is any position to judge, seriously.

To those lamenting a better face or body, have you seen a person with life long scars or someone without limbs?

Do we even understand what it means to be truly beautiful?


Today, each of us can make a real positive change – starting with ourselves.

We need not become vicious petty women who sit around and just put our fellow sisters down. We should applaud and support those who are doing something constructive to improve themselves. In addition, we do not need to condemn those who do not wish to do anything as well. It is their choice and not ours. They will have to live with that choice, as we live with ours. 

Every person has different issues to work on, and is undergoing her own personal motions. 

From here on, look at the mirror with tender loving eyes.  

Take a long good look at the reflection in the mirror, and sincerely appreciate every facet of our image.

You are uniquely beautiful as you are. 

Believe it.

Embrace it with our hearts.

Be generous in using kind words, especially those directed towards ourselves.

Be gracious in our mannerism – of the heart and the mind. Never be mean-spirited in any way or form.

If we understand how fragile our self-esteem can be, we will not shred someone else’s with such haste or hatred.

On a daily basis, an average woman goes through a catalogue of self-deprecating thoughts on her own. We do not need to add more injury to her wounds. 

All of us are divinely beautiful in our own way. 

Do everything for the RIGHT reasons. Know what the right reasons are.

The right reasons will always yield positive and beneficial results.

Good Illusions


If you want to exercise, do it because you want to be healthier and not simply to be skinny or thin.

If you want to change your looks, do it because you know it will benefit you in a positive manner.  Understand that changing your looks alone will NOT resolve all your personal issues.

You decide what’s good for you and discard those which do not work for you, but never judge what works for someone else. We do not know their stories, or their pains and suffering.  

Within every woman, there is a Goddess within waiting to be discovered. You can start by being more loving towards yourself.

Please read my earlier post about unveiling your inner Goddess here

Don’t ever let someone else dictate your idea of beauty. Do not conform to their standards of beauty because they are not you.

As we learn to value our own beauty, we would know how to recognise the beauty in others as well.

So, be fearless, be fabulous, and celebrate the beauty that is in you and in everyone else.

This is dedicated to the beautiful you – each and every one of you 🙂

 As always, start your brand of fearless living and love the life you live.

Peace 🙂


Being Afraid Is Human, But Staying Afraid Is A Choice.

  • thegoodgirlconfessional
    December 7, 2013

    So very true Shirley. Our discontent with the actions or the physicality of others tends to say volumes about ourselves and our self perceptions/insecurities. It took me years to like myself and longer to embrace myself! We are all beautiful. We need only believe it! Xxx

    • shirleymaya
      December 7, 2013

      Thank you for your comments, Charlotte! We need only to believe that we are all beautiful indeed! 🙂

      • thegoodgirlconfessional
        December 8, 2013

        Your beautiful articles are always a reminder Shirley for us to be kinder to ourselves! X

        • shirleymaya
          December 8, 2013

          As with yours, Charlotte! Love your blog too. Thank you and hugs x 🙂