Whenever you lose hope, please remember this
This is what I have noticed even with my own mind, and there is nothing like being ill for weeks, one thing after another to test the agility of one’s mind. It is nothing fatally serious, just one illness after another. From a cold, to a full-blown flu. Then came the food poisoning, which brought on the vertigo. How they are all related, I have no idea. I guess, my immune system must be very low.
Yes, it has been taxing and a little inconvenient, but not altogether a waste. I realised that when I was weak (still in recovery, actually), I tend to look at everything through ‘distressed’ lenses. Hence, it took more convincing than usual, to ‘push’ myself to get things done. Even as menial as getting out of bed. At that point, it became almost too easy to lump everything (even problems which only I imagined to exist) into one giant cloud of CRISIS. And then, surrendering myself over to depression or mountain of tears. In other words, my own brand of “pity party”. Feeling sorry for myself was too delicious to avoid at that very moment. After all, I did feel truly ‘entitled’. And I would have gladly submerged myself in it too, if I had not known any better.
Yes, I fully acknowledge that it is easier to break down and cry. It is even easier to blame it all on someone else so that we do not have to take responsibility for all the wrongs that took root in our lives. However, do any of these provide real solutions to our lives, to us? Have they?
These are the very questions I have asked myself, time and time again when things fuck up. Especially, when people we care about leave us.
We get upset, we hurl insults, spit venom and of course, it ends with that grand finale of furiously blaming them. Does any of this sound or look familiar?
Well, that was then and this is now.
I do know better now, because I understand myself better NOW.
It took me a long time to “un-learn” all the crap I have fed myself in the past. Directly, or indirectly. Consciously or unconsciously.
This is one of the reasons why I decided to venture into the path of fearless living.
I wanted to take responsibility for my life, my actions, my speech, as well as my thoughts and dreams. I realise that I cannot control other people’s reactions or responses. But I can definitely control mine. So, all the things which I write in here, post in my FB Page and etc are reminders as much as reinforcements for myself to become a better me.
If by any chance, I have inspired someone in the process, that is a gift in itself. Knowing that someone else’s life or mind would be slightly improved because of what I have shared makes all of this worthwhile.
So, I can honestly say that I do not stop going through an “inner battle” every single day. Yes. Every. Single. Day.
Within each day, I may struggle through a host of issues, depending on what I am facing and the magnitude of my own fear of it. Here, please understand that it is really my fear of a certain issue that prevents me from moving forward. Each of our personal fear and issue may differ from person to person. So, for some it may appear effortless to be patient while for someone like me it is equivalent to climbing Mount Everest. At least, in my mind it appears that way. Therefore, knowing what bugs someone and what delights someone may make all the difference in the world to understanding them much better.
For example, my personal pet peeve is cruelty. I hate seeing people being cruel to another, be it in words or actions. And especially, if those actions and words combined will generate further cruel judgements on someone or a group of people. I would get very angry whenever I see this happen, because I feel it is so un-necessary. Yet, my giving into my personal anger is not positive in itself. Because –
1) I get upset
2) Whenever I am upset, I am not in a good mood for those around me
3) I disrupt the peace within myself, and also those around me
Therefore, it is not positive no matter how I look at it. What would be a better way to deal with it, I’d ask myself?
Compassion and understanding.
As the great Dalai Lama once said, “The more you are motivated by love, the more fearless and free your actions will be.”
Everyone fears what they do not understand. They fear things and people who are different from them because they do not know any better.
Then, there are those who simply have not experienced or been taught a better way or a much kinder way to act and behave. May be they did not receive as much love and affection in their lives. There are multitude of reasons as to why some people act the way they do, and they think that they are right.
For me, it is simple – I would always choose the path that leads me to greater love, compassion and understanding. Because I believe in peace and harmony for all.
Yes, it is all-inclusive. It is not about more for me and less for you. Or, more for those who belong in a certain religious group and none for those who are not members of their religious groups.
Everyone deserves peace, harmony and compassion.
Because everyone just wants to find a way to lead a happy life.
At the end of the day, it is our mind and how we perceive.
Because we have been hurt before, and because we are so conditioned by our own pain and suffering that we fail to see that everyone is essentially just the same – looking for that same love, to be cherished and understood, to be respected and accepted as a fellow human being in the global community.
So, these days, I learn to deal with my ‘inner daily struggles’ in a better way. Ok, may be some days are better than other days. I have to be honest. It never stops for me. This much, I can guarantee. I understand that they all stem from my mind, and how I perceive things or people to be. However, it is without a doubt that I would always choose the path which brings about a more positive and beneficial outcome for all concerned. Not just for me.
Hence, I’d check myself – day in and day out – that inner dialogue of my mind and heart.
1) Has my mind become more open and do I see more than I did before this?
2) Has my heart grown bigger and become more accepting of the people and things prior to this situation?
3) Have I become more compassionate and understanding with this person, situation or thing?
In every situation and person, no matter how difficult or challenging it is, lies a great opportunity for us all.
Because each situation or person can teach us something. They can teach us to be more patient, understanding, kind, strong, wise and etc. The lesson is all around us, if we are open to it. Yes, it is really up to us to learn that lesson or not. And if we do choose to learn from it, the benefits we would gain from them will last a lifetime. These kinds of benefits are impossible to measure, because they help us to become more than we can ever imagine.
Hence, this is one of the many reasons why I chose to live by my own art of fearless living. I choose to better myself for those I love, and for me.
Above all, I want to see how far I can go without the fear holding me back.
So, I choose to give up my own weaknesses in exchange for a stronger me. I surrender my impatience and anger for a more loving me. And the list goes on. I am not saying that it has been easy, nor will it get any easier.
The Art of Fearless Living is important to me. It is my mantra and way of life.
You need to decide what is important to you, and then adopt that as your mantra so that it can lead you to the life you have always dreamed of.
If I may suggest, please consider giving up on your weaknesses that have held you back and trade in those self-defeating thoughts. Instead, adopt a fearless attitude and be led by your dreams.
“We each possess within ourselves not only the answer to our own problems but the potential to live our lives on a much higher or fuller level than we currently imagine possible.” ~ Lama Yeshe
As always, start your own brand of fearless living and love the life you live.