What does it mean to be a woman today?

I have a confession to make…My writing has taken a back seat these past few weeks. I have had to attend to more personal and family matters. It is amazing how fast time speeds by when taking care of others. I must admit, I do get frustrated at times when my time is being spent on others and not on myself…I may sound selfish here, but I am being honest. I am not built for taking care of others 24/7. I like to be able to do my own things in between taking care of others. I like to be able to retreat to my writing and literary world. They are my sanctuary as well as source of life. Hence, this is why I admire people who can give up their lives and just do stuff for others 24/7. They are a different breed, and definitely a breed above the rest. Salute to them!

I am a single mother. That said, I do not identify myself as a typical single mother. Although by my “legal status” in life, I belong to this category. However, I am luckier than most as I have a strong and supportive family network. Plus, I am not struggling to survive as many single mothers are. This is not to suggest that I am living off any fat alimony pay off. I live modestly and there is no alimony at all. Hence, the identity and role of women are very dear to my heart for many personal reasons.

As it is when my daughter is sick or has had an major accident (according to her level), my life would be affected in drastic measures. Everything I usually do, would pause. Even then, I don’t believe that I am doing a good job in taking care of her (please read my intro paragraph). What I do and try to do, is just deal with the crazy motions of the day as best I can. And if you have met my daughter, you know that she deserves a whole new category. She is something else 🙂

Let’s just say, without her in my life, I would probably end up being a slacker all my life or a beach bum. So, although I am eternally grateful for her, I do question if I am doing a good job. She pushes me to boundaries which I did not even know I had and gives me courage to do more than I could imagine. Especially in nursing bad bloody wounds and catching icky bugs.

As I have said, writing to me is like chocolate and ice cream to a kid. These days, I am beginning to wonder if I have the passion to write but no real talent for it. Hey, the truth hurts. So, I may have to own up at some point and just face it.

In any case, when I can’t afford the time to write. I read and I try to read as much as I can. Or watch movies. Sometimes, if I am really lucky, I might get some ideas from watching movies and reading.

Yes, just please bear with me – I am getting to the point of my post that is relevant to the title of this post 🙂

(And btw, I did not slack in taking care of my daughter in all this time.)

As I was reading mostly articles on the net, I was shocked by how some articles get published at all. Well, if it is any consolation I still get shocked at why any of mine would be published too.

But nothing shocked me more than the comments that come after these articles. Of course, these comments are made by readers or visitors to the sites/articles. Some are downright rude and just mean. Others are preaching about how we have abandoned God and how we are made to pay for not believing in God. It shocks me that so much negativity reside in so many people.

Mind you, these articles are from different sites and of different subject matter. Yes, it is still possible that it might be the same group of people hiding behind different personas. In this cyber age, all things are possible.

Yes, I am reaching my point of this post –

There are so many sites and articles dedicated to WOMEN and so little to MEN. Why is that?

Then there are so many women blaming all the men for their problems in the world and most of all, the inequality that thrives in various places.

Male bashing is so intense and passionate that it demands a new scientific study of its own. Seriously.

While I do agree that there are some very unsavoury and bad men around, the same can be said about women too.

In fact, I have witnessed more women bashing other women than I care to recall. Just take a look at high school “popularity contest” and then tell me that it does not flow over into their adulthoods.

I have seen how some girls grow up into just meaner women as they age. Their negativity and bitterness just deepen like wine which turned into the worst vinegar. Sad to say.

And it boogles my mind, why it still persists to this day – especially when we keep saying that our education has improved, knowledge and information are more accessible to everyone…yet we do see and sometimes personally have experienced the ire of the women who have turned into the most cruel females as we advance into each century.

For example, my daughter has built her own self-defense mechanism as she has had to do while at school. This year, the gloves come off because she finally joins the “TEENS” category. She knows things have changed and she can feel it. Like I how I felt. I am just surprised that it is still happening at this day and age.

Question 1: All men and women came from women as in their mothers. What have their mothers have been or not have been teaching these men and women? 

I am just wondering. Especially when the said problems seem to repeat themselves over time. By this, I do mean centuries and not just years. So, do the problems really stem from the boys and then to men? Or are we (girls and women) just as guilty?

Question 2: Are women really that vulnerable and helpless that they need sites, articles and posts to remind them or educate them how to be a better woman?

And if there are so much “help out there” already in existence, why women are not evolving to becoming better women by now?

I do not discredit the fact that women have come a long way. But I also wonder what are the benefits and definitions of women’s advancement in today’s context?

Does it equate to a woman being able to have sex with whomever and whenever she pleases?

Does it mean that she can afford to buy however many shoes and handbags as she wants?

Does it empower her to “steal” other people’s boyfriends, fiances and husbands?

Does it give her the right to betray other women and be jealous/envious that she needs to gossip about other women?

Does it permit her to wear whatever she wants but does not take the responsibility for that attire when she gets into trouble for it?

Does it translate to “no men objectifying women” but women is allowed to pursue extreme measures to “beautify” themselves in whatever means or form? Who is objectifying who, at the end of the day?

Or, is it reflected in her self-awareness and higher education or intellect that she can easily acquire the job that she deserves or fulfill her dreams/goals?

So, it is acceptable for women to bash women but not men to bash women? Shouldn’t the right thing be NO BASHING ALLOWED – regardless of gender?

All I know is that all negativity begets more negativity and it is a bottomless pit that covers all manners of sins.

I do not believe any human being needs to undergo any form of negativity – unless they have committed a heinous crime against humanity itself. (And even then, there is a right way to pursue justice.) It is genderless and race-less. It is about mutual respect, kindness and common courtesy.

Or perhaps, these attributes are becoming extinct?

Honestly, life is already as challenging as it is – no one needs another unkind word or unpleasant gesture to make it worse for anyone else.

As we celebrate another year of International Women’s Day – I beg to ask,

What does it really mean to be a woman today?

You tell me.

Being Afraid Is Human, But Staying Afraid Is A Choice.

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