In every situation, there was no pleasing everyone. Disappointments were rife, and each dispensed their own judgement on me.
Explanations seemed contrived and inadmissible. Apologies came too late, even Forgiveness turned a deaf ear.
Before the total darkness finally descended, some friendships were lost and my faith was ruptured beyond repair.
In the end, it seemed that no one cared to know me at all. They have casually forgotten that I was there, fighting by their sides, pushing the boundaries of my own limits, and above all, I DID GIVE ALL THAT I COULD GIVE at that point in time.
It was either jump to the death or leap and fly. However, my wings were not strong as yet to employ the winds around to help me soar further. So, into the depths, I plunged.
It took a long while for me to collect the pieces and try to make sense again.
It took an even longer time to separate the lies from the truth.
As I regained my strength, I made a promise not to ever be ensnared by Death’s sweet caressing voice, or the soft kisses of corruption.
I will believe no whisperers but take counsel from my own fighting spirit.
I will no longer run backwards, but forward.
Even if I have to stop from time to time, I know that I am doing so in order to recuperate and not indulge in laziness.
There will always be some people who will never understand me, and they may also never find it in their hearts to forgive me.
That is their prerogative, and they have every right to hold onto their views.
I will continue to try and make progress towards my dreams and goals, BUT IT WILL BE ACCORDING TO MY OWN TERMS.
I have not given up on anything, but have chosen to embrace all that is meaningful to me IN MY OWN WAY.
For those who stood by, and continued to throw a life line at my way, I thank each and every one of you with all my heart.
For those who gave up on me, I offer my deepest apology yet again and wish for all the great things to come your way as always.
For those who are still deciding, I shall leave you to your own conclusions.
To be very frank, there was a point in time last year when I thought that I could not make it out into the light again. I felt lost and empty after being stripped off the very things that I have dedicated my life to. It was a very painful and lonely place to be. Nonetheless, I know now that even that episode was absolutely necessary in my own growth as a human being who aspires to be in the service of others.
Yes, after all these years, I STILL have much to learn and a long way to go before I would evolve into the person I truly want to be. Every juncture takes us deeper and higher, only if we succeed in surviving its own massacre. With every little death, there is new life. One which is definitely stronger and brighter than the previous mould that we grew out of.