The Year 2010 has been a most interesting year…and the most challenging.
No, not in terms of work or travel but it was very testing because I had to face my inner demons.
In fact, over the last month or so – I was in heated battle with two of my greatest demons: ANGER and FEAR.
Over the last two weeks, I finally won the war.
There was a moment where I thought I was going to lose and just give up the fight, but I am so glad that I did not.
Yes, these days my battlefields are all within.
My biggest challenges are all with the enemies inside of me.
I realised that there is no greater enemy or demon that the one that resides in my head.
Whether you name it negativities, demons or enemies within – they are the same things. And what they do best is to bring you down, make you stay down and help you to LOSE out in your own life.
I came to terms with my own fears and learnt that my anger arises from my fears.
Once I understood that, I let it go and felt a lot lighter.
But that was not after a series of wailing and crying my eyes out like a baby.
I know, I am a cry baby.
I cry at the drop of a tissue. So embarrassing!
I cry at sad movies. I cry when I see animals or people suffer.
But what I did vow from today onwards is that I will no longer cry for me.
Because that would only lead me to a huge self-pity party of my own.
So, after coming out of all that – this is my Christmas message for 2010 –
To My Mother
Thank you for always being so selfless in caring about every one of us. You truly gave each of us everything from your heart. You give the best to us and you take the least or what’s left behind. You have never once complained how tired you are in taking care of us, but continues to do so with such warmth and joy.
May I grow into the kind of mother who loves her own daughter just like you have loved me.
To My Father
Thank you for sacrificing your own personal dreams in order to build a dream that would feed the whole entire family. Thank you for always working the hardest and through longest hours because you just want to provide us with the very best that you can give. Thank you for being the kind of father who never lets his family down.
May I grow into the kind of person with your level of discipline, commitment and responsibility.
To My Darling Daughter
Thank you for gracing my life and making it more meaningful.
Above all, thank you for teaching me how to love without agenda.
To My Precious Sisters
With beautiful and wonderful sisters like you all, I certainly had very little need for best friends. We have shared so much together and gone through even more together.
Thank you for loving me just as I am. Though you may not understand me sometimes, you did not stop caring about me. Thank you dearly for that.
To The Melotos, The Wilks and the Gonzalezs, Gawad Kalinga Heroes and all my very dear friends near and far
Though we may not get to see each other as often as we like, please know that you are always in my heart and mind.
Each of you has touched my life in so many different ways. I can never be the person I am today without any of you. I am very grateful that I have the blessing of your warmth and friendship. I cannot imagine where I will be without your help, love and care. Thank goodness for good dear friends!
May I always return the same loving kindness I have received from each of you – many times over.
To EVERYONE ELSE OUT THERE
If this Christmas is one of the most toughest time for you, I shall pray for you. Remember, even the most painful moments will also pass. So, this too shall pass. Have courage and persevere. The sun will shine again soon.
If this Christmas, things have begun to change for the better – I shall rejoice with you and I pray that you will not take any of it for granted. Cherish every one and every moment well.
If this Christmas, you are starting a new chapter in your life and doing something completely different, I wish you all the luck and I shall also pray for you.
If you are single and looking – may you find the one who makes your heart sing and inspire your mind to become the best that you can be.
If you are married and going through a difficult time – don’t stop communicating. Sometimes, it is not about falling out of love and growing apart. Ask yourselves, can you both fall in love with each other all over again and work it out? Can you both learn to have fun and enjoy one another all over again? Think about that before you make a hard final decision, ok.
If you are married and going to celebrate your anniversaries – BRAVO! You give the rest of us hope that true love does last! Haha. It is a wonderful feeling to be married to your best friend and that you just never seem to get bored with one another.
A LITTLE INSIDER’S GUIDE TO ALL THE GALS OUT THERE
Forget the fairy tale.
Don’t wait for the knight in shining armour or the Prince Charming to come along. There is no perfect guy. All men are flawed – just as we women are. YES, that’s the truth.
We ain’t perfect and so, neither are they. We do need one another to become perfect.
Use your wisdom to understand that as a woman we have a choice – we can choose to be makers of great men and bearers of great children – or we can just whine, complain, cry and be damsels in distress. It’s your call.
If you think about it – all men also came from women as we are the mothers of the earth. If we want the world to have better men ( and women ), we have to be better mothers, sisters, wives, etc. Yes, it can begin and end with us. Key operative word here is, CAN. Again, it is your choice.
And please, do not always wait for the guy to make the first move or to do anything and everything – we have hands, feet and a brain too. Use these assets well.
Happiness is how you make it.
You want a guy to love you a certain way – trust me, please just spell it out for him. Do not wait and imagine that he will know or figure it out – he won’t. And you can wait until the cows jump over the moon.
Waste a lifetime in waiting or make every moment worthwhile and enjoyable – does not matter if you need to do more of the work. After all, when every moment is a happy one, everyone wins. So, that is the most important part of all.
Please do not waste too much time worrying about your body, your face, whether you gained 5 pounds or lose 10. Love your body, own your body and enjoy living in your body!
Hello, ladies, if you are not happy with your own body, how do you expect anyone else to find it pleasurable and be happy with it too?!
If he loves you, he will love you just the way you are.
BECAUSE LOVE IS MORE THAN THE PHYSIQUE.
Love is enjoying the good bits and being able to take the bad bits and work with it. We can’t have one without the other. AMEN!
A LITTLE INSIDER’S GUIDE TO ALL THE GUYS OUT THERE
If you have not begun to start respecting a woman by now, then you are in serious trouble. No woman would enjoy being with anyone who does not respect her. Would you like it if someone does not respect you? Especially in public? I rest my case.
Believe me when I say this – scoring with as many women as you can get hold of or sleeping with as many women as you can handle DO NOT WIN YOU ANY RESPECT with the women. It is just your ego talking and showing off to the rest of your mates. It has nothing to do with your manhood at all.
If you want to really prove what makes a man great – love one woman and make her happy for the rest of your life. See how well you can pull that off.
A little kindness, tenderness and gentleness will go a long way in sustaining a very successful relationship with a woman in the long run.
A woman enjoys being touched and moved – and I do not mean body parts here. I mean, touching her heart and moving her heart – with your sincerity and care.
If you really want to be with a woman, first of all, please be a good friend to her and listen to what she has to say.
Yes, women are made differently. They need a lot of sweetness because when they love you, they love you with all their heart. So, please take good care of your women, guys. Don’t talk down to them and treat them like trash.
Every woman is a queen.
So, treat your woman as the Queen of your Heart.
LASTLY BUT NOT LEAST – To My Ex-Husband
Thank you for being a good friend and a wonderful father to our darling girl.
Wish you all the happiness in the world and may you truly find peace within and without.
FINALLY, IN CLOSING…
Each of you are as beautiful and wonderful as you are.
Right now, right here.
This moment is going to be as good as it gets until you make that change inside you.
Yes, you have the ability to do anything you want to do, as long as you really put in the time and effort to achieve it.
And you must be consistent. Never give up.
No, crying will not change anything.
And no, screaming , kicking and shouting will not make anything better.
The one who really loves you will be the one who cherishes your vulnerability as well as value your strengths.
The one who really loves will never stop improving himself or herself in order to become better for you.
When people criticize you, it doesn’t mean that they hate you or that you are really that bad or lousy.
It means that you just have more room for improvement and you can learn from it and grow from there.
DO NOT wallow in self-pity.
I repeat – Under no circumstances, should you ever allow yourself to wallow in self-pity. Because if you choose to wallow in self-pity, you are just fulfilling their ‘unpleasant prophecy’ about you. But if you choose NOT to believe in being the ‘lesser you’ and remaining as the ‘lesser you’, then do something positive for yourself and change for the better.
Above all, make that change for the better LAST and SUSTAINABLE for the rest of your life.
You are worth every of your sweat, blood, tears, dreams and hopes.
So, start acting like one. Start believing in yourself.
Be kind and grateful to as many people as you can because you know very well how pain feels.
Therefore, you should not cause others any more pain or suffering.
Before you actually become a solution, stop being a part of the problem.
Yes, you can do all the above.
So, believe in the best of you and allow that very best of you to RISE each and every day.
It is never too late. It is only too late when you never even gave it a chance.
I say it again, you are worth YOUR every sweat, blood, tears, dreams and hopes.
So, it should all come from you and no one else.
No one else is responsible for you or your life.
You should not marry someone else for their money, but earn your own.
You should not sleep with someone else to reach the top of the ladder, but climb on your own.
You should not use people in order to get what you want in life or love, but use yourself to give what people in your life need and love with all your heart.
Nothing lasts forever and nothing stays the same.
This applies to all sadness, pain, joy and pleasures in life and love.
What you understand of the above statement will determine your maturity and ability to live your life to the fullest, and to appreciate life for what it truly is.This is all I can share and have to share.
The rest is really up to you.
And to all, a very blessed Christmas and a most joyful New Year.
Start your own brand of Fearless Living and love the life you live.